Vaccinations

My deltoids are throbbing as I write this. Today I got 5 vaccination shots. 3 in my left arm, 2 in my right.

I met with a doctor who specialized in travel to exotic locations. In his mid-60s, he was a sloppy Einstein with a whiff of Elmer Fudd. His last name's a blur because I could only wonder at his first name -- Spiro. This was the first Spiro I'd ever met. Before that, I'd only ever heard of Spiro Agnew and I was never quite clear on why he was famous, but you can't deny the singular beauty of that name. Spiro Agnew. Whatever road that name travels, it's bound for greatness.

My Spiro was a master of his field. Every anxious question was answered with a calm that eased my worries. I would need five shots. Six if I'm smart. Hepatitus A and B, Tetanus, Typhoid, Polio, Yellow Fever. The sixth shot was for rabies, but it would be three shots at $200 a pop. So $600 x 2 since Jennifer will need the same as me. $1200 toward our free trip --

"Do I need that shot?"
"Well no, but if you get bitten by a rabid dog, you'll die in the wilderness." Said so casually, you might think he was discussing the merits of Sonoma reds over Napa Valley.
I fought my growing anxiety and passed on the rabies. Surely that was an exaggeration...right?

So I went for the five shots.

Having spoken with other African travellers, I sought advice on the shots. Of the three people I met, all of them warned me...I'd be flat out the next day. Yellow fever would do a number on me. It's painful, brutal. I'll never walk again, probably lose vision in my left eye. Expect hives, toes will drop off!

Perhaps I'm exaggerating, but they had me primed for a nervous visit to the nurse. She could sense my anxiety. I asked if five shots were a lot for one go. "Oh the most I've ever given was seven." It was small comfort realizing I was 2 shy of her record. But she was a pro. Five quick arm jabs and I was headed home.

The worst I can say is that I felt like I was drunk for the next 4 hours. The next day, my arms were like brick blocks hanging off my body. The day after that, I was back to 100%.  I guess everyone reacts differently. Maybe this means the malaria-laden mosquitoes will buzz away out of respect.

Or maybe not.